I was in the Atlantic Mall applying places and looking for places to apply today so I could get another job (if you know anywhere, let a sista know!!) and as I was leaving I saw one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen… Cold Stone’s Churro Caramel Cave. I almost lost it. No. NO. You don’t understand. I walked by the place twice, the first time I tried to get away as fast as possible as soon as I saw that fucking thing. OMG it has 3 of my #1 FAVORITE sweet things…
- I LOVE CARAMEL. CARAMEL PWNS CHOCOLATE ANY DAY.
- I LOVE CHURROS. MMM YUM. NOTHING BETTER THEN FRIED BREAD COVERED IN COPIOUS AMOUNT OF SUGAR AND CINNAMON.
- I LOVE WHIP CREAM. SWEET AND LIGHT.
But no jokes, the first time I walked away then somehow I ended back over by that stupid fucking store and I stared blindly at the sign LITERALLY for close to a minute. That doesn’t sound long? Well then get off the computer, go over to the wall and stare at it for an entire minute–that’s a long ass fucking time! This heaping pile of heaven was 700 calories man. SEVEN HUNDRED. And you all know I’m on a 900- calories per day diet, so if I ate this, this would have been it for me for the day, and I had already eaten before I left the house! After I had stared at the sign, I said OUT LOUD to myself, “Oh my God” and walked inside Coldstone… when I say that place smelled like heaven on earth, I mean it smelled like heaven. It smelled like sugar, cupcakes, party cake ice cream and Grandma’s homemade chocolate chip cookies all had an orgy and this was the baked good sex after-smell.
I am not kidding you, I started to feel woozy and stood in the store like a fucking creeper looking like I was about to shoot up the place and jack all the ice cream. I debated for about 30 seconds before I finally came to and said, “I gotta get the fuck out of here.” And I left. Whew! Crisis avoided! Mind over matter people, you have to remember that–dieting ain’t easy. But when I stood in there, you know what was my thinspiration for wanting to leave?
My bikini body. Retiring my fat jeans. Looking good. Feeling good. Summer time and short shorts. Is this 10-minute bit of heaven, however celestial the feeling of eating this ice cream would be, is it worth the work of having to make up for this momentary loss of mind? Absolutely not. Mind over matter–there are more important things and I have my eyes on the prize!
Anyway, apart from the ice cream snap-out, let’s talk about academic probation–I’m on it. Very annoying. I’ve found getting into this school is much easier then staying in it. But as I said in my New Years Resolutions post, I know I fucked up and that some things need to change–I get that and believe me, I want to get off academic probation ASAP (or rather, I have to if I want to stay in my school). I’m registered for only 14 credits this semester and you know what these motherfuckers told me, I should have only been allowed to register for six. Six credits. As in, part-time! Six credits, shit! I would’ve had time for a full-time job with that shit!
Apparently, I registered before they enforced the limit on me which was good. Shit, six credits I would never get out of fucking school! Let this be a lesson to you kids, do the shit right the first time, or else you’ll be wasting TIME AND MONEY which are 2 things you should try your HARDEST never to let go to waste! Being on academic probabtion has fucked me up the ass so hard I have to wear a diaper! Seriously–I got to go to some dumbass seminar now and they’re watching me like a hawk! Learn from my mistakes!